


Counting the Hours

by AirgiodSLV



Category: Necromancer Chronicles - Amanda Downum
Genre: F/F, F/M, Misses Clause Challenge, Multi, Polyamory, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 07:57:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8882560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AirgiodSLV/pseuds/AirgiodSLV
Summary: Others would fight and die to protect their rulers; Savedra would fight and live to protect the two people she loved most.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bookwyrm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookwyrm/gifts).



> Thank you to bookwyrm, who provided an amazing prompt. Thanks to Linny and Ginger for beta-reading. Warning: Mention of past miscarriage.  
> 

  
_First Terce  
The Hour of Tenderness_

  
Savedra Severos was not the king's spymaster.

Those who called her that were the ones most likely to know who held the position, officially or otherwise, but Savedra's concern was not for the kingdom. Her concern was, and had always been, for the king. Not for the Malachite Throne itself, but for the man who sat upon it.

For Nikos, and for his queen. And, very soon, for their child.

It was that concern that led her to intercept messages and to pen some of her own; to employ some few able individuals to carry secrets through the palace to the Gallery of Pearls. The Gallery of Whispers, some of the inspectors among the Vigiles Urbani called it now, in joking reference to Savedra's runners and the steady trickle of useful information she brought to their attention.

Savedra's whisperers had been hand-picked by herself, the Archa of House Severos, and the necromancer Isyllt Iskaldur, before she had left the city. Even Nikos didn't know who they were; it was safer for everyone that way.

Tonight however, instead of meeting one of her spies, Savedra was waiting for an assassin.

It was slow, boring work, but Savedra did not trust anyone else to do it as well. The guards were well-trained and alert, the captain as thorough as anyone could ask, but none of them felt the way that Savedra did about Nikos and Ashlin. Others would fight and die to protect their rulers; Savedra would fight and _live_ to protect the two people she loved most.

Waiting for an assassin was something she had long hours of practice at, and by now Savedra knew many of the tricks. How to shift her weight silently to keep her muscles from going stiff in the cold; how to train her eyes on the darkness so they didn't adjust to the bright gleam of a torch and leave her night-blind; how to judge the time by the movements of the guards and servants.

How to listen for the whisper-soft step of a slipper in wet grass.

It was closer than she'd expected, and coming from the opposite direction; Savedra cursed herself for wool-gathering and whirled, dagger held ready.

Familiarity stayed her hand even before full recognition, and kept her from disemboweling the King of Selafai as he ambled up to her, wearing unusually dark clothing for the bejeweled peacock of Erisín, hands stuffed into his pockets against the night's chill.

"Nikos!" Savedra's hiss was sharp, her heart still in her throat and pounding painfully at the thought of what she might have done. "What are you doing out here? I could have killed you."

"You wouldn't," Nikos answered without hesitation. His jaw cracked around a yawn, eyes still heavy with recent sleep. "And it's my garden. Have you been out here all night?"

Savedra couldn't make herself relax entirely - if anything, the danger was greater with Nikos outside rather than in the palace - but she did straighten from the defensive crouch she had begun to drop into at his approach, and unclench her hand from its death-grip around the dagger handle. "Yes," she answered, keeping her voice low. "Someone has been sent to breach the palace tonight."

"On what mission?" Nikos asked, and now he looked more awake, the threat made more real.

"Your head," Savedra replied, her voice dry. She was still shaking a little with adrenaline from the false alarm; she shook out her dagger arm and switched the handle to her off-hand.

"Oh, that's all right then," Nikos said, perversely seeming to relax at the news. "I thought it might be for Ashlin."

Savedra bit her lip to keep from answering. The warning had been for Ashlin, but she could not tell Nikos so now. She was still angry - or she wanted to be angry; it was difficult to stay so for long, with Nikos - but she understood his relief. Ashlin was due to deliver her child any day now, and while she was a seasoned fighter herself, she was hampered by both the child she carried and her desire to protect it at all cost. It was Nikos' heir she carried, the next in line to the throne.

It was also Savedra's child, by blood and love. And the only child Ashlin had carried so nearly to term.

"Why are you here?" Savedra asked again, drawing Nikos back a little, out of any light. If an assassin were to strike now, with the king hardly protected and both of them distracted by conversation...it wasn't a thought to brook carelessness.

Nikos scrubbed a hand through his dark hair. It was still riotous from sleep, and he smelled of himself alone, of warmth and musk; he must have just risen and dressed to come outside without bathing. "The baby woke Ashlin," he answered, matching Savedra's volume. "And she woke me. I went to your rooms, but you weren't there. I guessed you might be here."

Savedra's heart fluttered, nerves and worry closing a hand around her throat. Nikos wasn't meant to know what Savedra did to defend him, out here in the dark. They never spoke of it, and the captain of the guards had always respected Savedra's wish to keep it from him, even if Denaris herself didn't fully understand.

"So you're endangering yourself," Savedra observed, "when I'm out here trying to protect you."

Nikos' smile still held all of the youth that kingship had begun to strip away. "You're protecting our queen," he said, and Savedra didn't know whether it was the smile or the 'our queen' that made her chest feel so light. "Anyway, Captain Denaris isn't far off."

At Savedra's blank look of surprise, Nikos' smile went soft and crooked. "You can't imagine that there's no one watching you, while you watch for assassins. The captain knows how important you are to me. And to the queen."

This last was something of a misdirection; while the captain and many others knew that the king's wife and mistress were close friends, no one save Nikos and two members of House Severos knew that they were lovers. It still silenced Savedra's objections, at least for the moment.

No one knew the things she did, she wanted to argue; but they didn't have to, for a guard to shadow her whenever Savedra slipped from her rooms in the middle of the night. And things were different now. In the past, Savedra had needed to keep quiet the whispers she heard from her mother, the Severos Archa. There had been too much risk of incriminating her own family and house. Severos and Alexios, the royal house, had been bitter rivals. But now, even if the reason wasn't widely known, there was no question that Severos supported Alexios. There would be no assassination attempts from that quarter. Not while Savedra's unborn child waited to inherit the throne.

A rustle of vines and leaves made Savedra freeze and draw back, her arm across Nikos' body to restrain and shield him. The assassin was coming over the wall closer to them than she'd expected, but there was no time now to send Nikos away. Savedra could only hope that he would stay behind her, and safe from harm.

When the man dropped into the garden, a knife held glinting between his teeth, Savedra was only a few steps away. It should have been a quick, clean thrust to the heart, but when she stepped in on light feet to drive her dagger between his ribs, the tip glanced off metal and turned the blade, making Savedra stumble clumsily forward off-balance and raising instant alarm.

The assassin's own knife was in his hand and flashing toward her before Savedra had time to do more than raise her arm to protect her chest and throat from the blade. Suddenly Nikos was there, hitting the man from the right and pinning his knife arm to his side, the momentum staggering both of them several paces sideways. Savedra recovered quickly, shutting out the part of her mind that clamored in horror at Nikos' peril, and lunged in for a second strike. This time she avoided his torso and whatever light plate he wore, and aimed for his throat.

"Alive!" came a shout from behind her--Captain Denaris had arrived. It was too late to hold her arm, but that was all right; Savedra had already reversed the blade to keep from accidentally harming Nikos, slamming the assassin instead in the throat with the heavy leather-wrapped pommel. The man choked, and Nikos grappled with him for another single moment before Savedra clocked the assassin across the back of the head and dropped him like a stone to the soft grass.

Denaris was there in the next instant, her sword laid across the assassin's throat, though he wasn't moving. Nikos had let him go and was shaking out his arm, wincing a little. Savedra realized that she couldn't account for the knife, every moment Nikos had been holding on.

"Are you hurt, Your Majesty?" Denaris asked for her, without taking her eyes off the man on the ground.

"I'm well," Nikos answered, his voice steady. "Vedra?"

"I'm fine." She was, doubly so now that Nikos had reported himself unharmed. "Your arm?"

"Only bruised. He's wearing something harder than leather--metal plate, I think."

Denaris kicked away the fallen knife and prodded the man's chest with her boot. "Discs of it, it looks like, sewn in...I haven't seen this before. I'll have him stripped so we can take a look at it. And we'll be able to question this one." She looked up at Savedra at last, amusement wrinkling her eyes. "Thank you for your restraint, Pallakis."

It had been an accident, but Savedra bobbed a brief courtesy anyway, out of politeness and habit. Nikos took her arm when she straightened, and turned her toward the palace. "Thank you, captain."

He knew, somehow, that Savedra did not care to linger. This had not been one of the worst incidents, by any means--there was not even any blood covering her, hers or the assassin's. She hadn't killed anyone tonight.

But Nikos had been in danger, and that made her shake in the aftermath, even as she told herself again and again that he was safe and unhurt. And if he hadn't been there, Savedra herself might have been in danger. Which meant that Ashlin might have been at risk.

"Vedra," Nikos murmured, as if hearing her thoughts, which whirled madly about her skull. He led her around a turn in the path and behind the privacy of a sculpted hedge before drawing her into his arms.

She pressed her eyes closed, and let herself stop being strong for long enough to return his embrace, her arms winding tight around his waist. When she let go, he only stepped back enough to put her at arm’s-length, and his hands were steady on her shoulders.

"I never wanted you to see that side of me," Savedra told him, her eyes downcast. This had always been her secret, protecting him in the dark; it was grim, and messy, and had stained her hands even if she never regretted the choices she'd made here. It felt shameful; not the work of a king's mistress.

"Vedra," Nikos said again, and when she raised her head, he touched the side of her face. "I have always wanted to see all of you." He kissed her, grounding her in the swirl of her emotions. "Go to bed," Nikos advised when they parted. "Go to my bed. I'm going for an early breakfast, and then I'll catch up on some reports before the morning meetings. You can keep Ashlin company."

Savedra would have offered to join him for breakfast, but her stomach disagreed, and her limbs felt weighted down with weariness, now that the excitement was past.

"You have always seen me," she said impulsively, meaning _I love you_.

Nikos' grin was crooked and fond. "I know," he answered, and Savedra heard the echo of the words she hadn't said.

  


~

  
_Second Terce  
The Hour of Virtue_  


  
Ashlin was in bed when Savedra came into the room, but she wasn't sleeping; Savedra heard the bedclothes rustle, and saw Ashlin's pale face peek out at her in the morning light. She didn't say anything until Savedra had disrobed and joined her in the cocoon of warmed blankets.

"Did Nikos send you? I told him it wasn't him keeping me awake, it was the baby."

While this was Ashlin's third pregnancy, it was the first time she had carried a child for so long, and the frequent trips to relieve herself and general insomnia over the past few months had been unwelcome surprises. Her short temper had been muted by a kind of wonder, still, that she was still nurturing the new life within her. Savedra thought that without that softer side, she and Nikos might have been reduced to hiding in the Gallery of Pearls long before this.

Savedra moved tentatively closer to Ashlin's warmth, not wanting to discomfort her with cold hands and feet until Ashlin rolled onto her side to embrace her, hissing a little at the chill. "Where have you been?" Ashlin asked. "You're freezing."

"Yes, Nikos sent me. He wanted you to have company, he said you weren't sleeping well." Savedra might have come regardless, but it warmed her to think of Nikos wanting them to have this time together. She avoided the question of where she had been--Nikos might know of her activities, but she didn't want Ashlin to worry. Savedra thought of Ashlin stomping out into the garden after her, sword in hand and a buckler resting over the swell of her stomach, and bit her lip on a smile.

Ashlin caught Savedra's cold hands in hers and pressed them to her chest, which made Savedra's breath catch, and not just from the shock of sudden warmth. She was still jealous of Ashlin's figure sometimes; especially now, when she was round with child and close to bursting from the bodices of her gowns, the picture of maternal fecundity. It was harder to be jealous when Ashlin was so free in sharing her body with Savedra, all of its quirks and changes, unashamed and honest.

"I never sleep well anymore. I hope the baby comes soon, I'm tired of carrying it around and having it kick me every time I try to take a breath." Ashlin's tone was grumbling, but it was good-natured, and Savedra knew that she wasn't really complaining. Even during the worst months, when Ashlin had been sick every day and soundly cursing everyone around her, she had never said she didn't want the baby. Savedra knew, from the weeping confessions and withdrawn silences that had followed her second miscarriage, how very much Ashlin wanted to be a mother.

"Is it kicking now?" Savedra couldn't help the hope that crept into her voice. As much as it discomforted Ashlin, Savedra never tired of feeling the baby move under her hand. Ashlin was far enough along now that they could feel each individual part, identifying hands and feet and hard round head.

"No. That's why I thought I could get some sleep, or at least rest for a while." Ashlin moved a little, trying to get closer to Savedra even with her stomach in the way, and sighed. "I should probably just get up. Did Nikos go to breakfast?"

Savedra hummed in answer, her hands wandering a little over Ashlin's full breasts, cupping them in her palms to feel their weight. "He said he had reading to do, after."

"I can wait a little longer, then." Ashlin's voice held mischief in it; when Savedra looked up, her eyes were dancing to match. "I frightened away the servants when they came in to dress me for breakfast. They won't come back for a while."

Savedra's lips parted in surprise and question, but Ashlin was already ducking her head beneath the covers, shifting down until she could take Savedra into her mouth. Savedra brought her fist to her teeth and bit down, stifling a cry at the unexpected wash of sensation.

They had never done this, she and Nikos. She had never done it with anyone, until Ashlin had come along. Savedra's first time with a woman had been awkward and unfulfilling, and it had been nothing but the act of coupling without any desire to explore further. During her first times with Nikos she had been equally shy, leaving her shift on to disguise her lack of feminine figure; only wanting him to find his pleasure with her as if she were a woman in body as well as spirit. Nikos had understood, and while he had used his hand to bring her pleasure, he had never trespassed further. Even once they had become so familiar with each other that Savedra knew his body as well as her own, those early unspoken rules had never been breached.

With Ashlin, there had never been rules. With Ashlin, she had been more than a little drunk when they had first coupled, and all of the taboos had been broken. Ashlin was a curious and unrestrained lover, and Savedra had never had the heart to deny her anything. Even when it warmed her cheeks and made her hide her face in embarrassment, Savedra could not have given Ashlin a reason for denying an act of love--and with Ashlin carrying her child, it seemed foolish to pretend that Savedra could not take pleasure in other ways than she did with Nikos.

And Ashlin had never been ashamed. Ashlin paraded naked around her chambers and put Savedra's hands where she wanted them, and her bald honesty had given Savedra courage. Everything about Ashlin gave Savedra courage.

Savedra climaxed with a series of soft, broken cries that she muffled behind her hand, clapped over her mouth to keep any servants from hearing if they were brave enough to listen at the door. Ashlin crawled back up to her with a smug, pleased expression, and Savedra let herself be kissed and stroked in a daze as her heart slowed its frantic beating.

"Do you...?" Savedra asked, reaching for her, but Ashlin shook her head, already rolling with some difficulty to the edge of the bed.

"I should go, before someone does pluck up the courage to look in on us. And I have to piss again, since it's been at least ten minutes since the last time I went." Ashlin made it to her feet, and then stooped to kiss Savedra's forehead, one arm curved protectively beneath her belly. "Sleep well, _ma chrí_."

Savedra thought she murmured a response, but she was lost to sleep even before Ashlin reached the door.

  


~

  
_Third Terce  
The Hour of Reason_  


  
Savedra woke with the gritty-eyed feeling of not having had enough sleep, and knowing at the same time that she should probably rise and start the day before she missed it completely.

She thought it was servants who had woken her, coming in unaware to clean the king's bedchamber, but gradually the familiar tenor of the whispers registered in her foggy brain.

"Hush, you'll wake her." Ashlin's voice, unusually indulgent. Savedra wondered if the fondness in it was for her, or for the second voice that joined her, more loudly. It warmed her, either way.

"Oh, is Savedra in here? Still abed?" Nikos wasn't speaking above his normal volume, but Savedra guessed it was his voice that had woken her. She stretched slowly, testing her limbs for any soreness that might not have registered after the fight in the garden.

"You know she is, you sent her in here." Ashlin was still whispering, but her voice carried as if for the stage. Nothing about Ashlin was ever truly quiet.

"Did I? Well, that would explain it." Nikos' voice was warm with amusement, and Savedra wanted to ask what he meant, but she also didn't want to let them know she was awake just yet. This moment, the three of them all together and in private, happened so rarely that Savedra didn't want to bring it to an end.

Ashlin asked the question for her, after a long pause which had clearly been Ashlin struggling against asking and Nikos infuriatingly out-waiting her. "Explain what?"

"Why you tasted of her when I kissed you this morning."

Savedra opened her eyes at that, in time to see Nikos kiss Ashlin again. They were a well-matched pair, though it had taken them years to hit their stride together. Their dark and fair heads bent together for a kiss that might have been chaste but for the way it lingered, and the way their eyes were closed and their bodies bowed toward each other.

Savedra rarely saw them this way. In public and in casual settings, certainly, but not with such intimacy. Nikos and Savedra could meet in her rooms unremarked-on, and Nikos and Ashlin had their suite and their privacy when they demanded it. But Savedra and Ashlin, while they could steal moments together, could not risk seeming to do so, and when she was with the two of them at one of those infrequent times, she was rarely simply watching them. They could not chance a scandal, they all agreed on it; that Nikos refused to set Savedra aside was minor scandal enough. If any breath of suspicion over the heir's legitimacy came to light, it could be disastrous for the kingdom--and potentially fatal for Ashlin and Savedra.

Savedra returned from her thoughts to find Nikos watching her with a little smile on his face. "Good morning," he said, and the spell was broken. Ashlin straightened to a parade-rest attention that she somehow managed to make look military even with the sizeable bulge of her stomach, and Nikos shifted back as well, though his arm continued to rest supportively beneath Ashlin's elbow.

Giving up the charade, Savedra hauled herself up to recline against the pillows, rubbing at her sleep-grained eyes. "Is it still morning?"

"Just past noon." Nikos went to draw the curtain back from the window, and Savedra winced a little at the stream of bright daylight. "I would have let you sleep, but we have a performance to attend in a few hours, and I thought you'd want time to dress and eat."

"Performance...?" Savedra began, but then she remembered. An opera, composed in her honor, to be performed for a small audience at court. It was rare that performers of any kind - particularly the demi-monde - were permitted to play in the palace, but Nikos was more indulgent than his father had been.

And, Savedra knew, he had done this for her. She rarely felt any part of Nikos' affection was lacking, but she knew it still weighed on him that Ashlin sat at his side, while Savedra was kept to the sidelines. Nikos had a strong sense of fairness and justice--it made him a good king, but was perhaps a burden in maintaining the delicate balance of keeping two lovers of different stations.

"I hope it's better than that one they wrote for me last season," Ashlin said, easing herself into a chair with a hand supporting her belly. "What utter drivel that was."

"You were a hero of the people," Nikos replied, in the casual bland tone he had adopted some months ago to keep from starting fights with a hormonal and frequently irritable Ashlin. "They wanted to celebrate you."

Savedra smiled, and tried too late not to let Ashlin see it. The opera _had_ been utter drivel, but it had been exciting all the same; a none-too-accurate recounting of Ashlin's exploits at last year's masquerade.

"Thank you for coming to wake me," Savedra said, diplomatically changing the subject and reluctantly pushing the bedclothes aside, shrugging into the dressing gown hanging at the foot of the bed. It was Nikos'--even without the royal sapphire dye and crowned griffin crest stitched into the front breast, Savedra could smell the cedar-and-saffron of Nikos' perfume lingering in the fabric.

"I've ordered lunch to be brought here," Nikos told her. "Ashlin thought that if we all ate and left together, there would be less fuss about who woke up in which bed."

Savedra smiled gratefully at Ashlin, who returned the look, though she was distracted by trying to find a good position in the side chair, which had clearly been chosen for style and not for comfort. Savedra brought some of the pillows over from the bed, and caught Nikos' look of gratitude that Savedra was doing the fussing this time, so he wouldn't be snapped at for being overly solicitous.

When she turned around again, it was to find Nikos watching them fondly, though his gaze lingered this time on Savedra, and she couldn't help but be glad for it. It was difficult not to feel jealous of them, even with so much love to go around.

Nikos combed his fingers through the snaggle of Savedra's hair, and then smoothed down the collar of the dressing gown. "We could always skip lunch," he suggested, his eyes twinkling in a way that still made Savedra's pulse jump.

"No, we could not," Ashlin said decisively from beside them, her stubborn chin tilted up. "I'm still eating for two. Nikos, go and find out what's taking them so long. And find a dress for Savedra so she doesn't have to creep down the palace hallways in yesterday's clothes."

Nikos grinned and bowed. "Radiance, your wish is my command."

  


~

  
_Fourth Terce  
The Hour of Patience_  


  
The audience was small enough, and the friendship between the king's wife and mistress close enough, that no one remarked at Savedra taking her seat on Ashlin's right, with Nikos sitting on Ashlin's left. The fact that the opera was being presented in her honor also gave Savedra some precedence, and therefore an excellent seat.

It was, as Ashlin had suspected, mainly overwrought drivel. The story centered around star-crossed lovers, a prince and his mistress - Savedra bit her cheek on a smile at how transparent the librettist was in their analogies - who could not marry because the king had forbidden it. A great deal was made of the mistress' station, which was a tactful way of avoiding the real issue that had barred Savedra from marrying Nikos.

The heroine was born to one of the Eight, as it turned out, but through a series of complicated plot twists, she worked as a servant and could not take her place in the palace as the prince's acknowledged lover.

The singer had a low, rich voice, and after her first aria concluded, there were low murmurs of appreciation. The court did not applaud, as the general public did, but they were not silent in voicing their approval. Ashlin, who was not an opera fan by any stretch of imagination, said, "Oh, well done," in a low voice, in the same way she praised soldiers of the guard for feats of dexterity and equitation.

The countertenor was, in Savedra's private opinion, nothing at all like Nikos. He was headstrong and brash, and trumpeted his feelings with dramatic coloratura ornamentation, frequently while brandishing a lightweight prop sword. Savedra noticed that Ashlin began leaning forward whenever he came onstage, and guessed that while Ashlin had developed a fondness for Nikos - who was very much a peacetime king - she was still drawn to royalty who lived by the sword. That was who Ashlin was; a warrior queen, who had been tempered and blooded in battle.

There were the usual stormy confrontations and opulent court scenes--the king made his feelings clear to his son, who shrilled a fierce defense of his noble-born lover. A foreign kingdom with whom there had been rumblings of war suddenly appeared with an army on the doorstep, and the prince rode into battle while his mistress wept heartbreaking notes of fear and anguish. A chorus of soldiers rallied with a battle cry, and in the final act, a messenger brought the royal crown to the prince, with news that his father had died bravely in battle.

This heralded another aria, Savedra's favorite yet, in which the prince mourned his father and celebrated the victory of his nation over foreign invaders in nearly the same breaths. The countertenor's voice was far more suited to this music--it had an ethereal, haunting quality in lamentation that gave Savedra chills. She clasped her hands at the final dying note to keep herself from applauding, and blinked against the threat of tears.

Then they came to the finale, and the happy ending: The newly-crowned king, loyal to his true love, received belated word of the late father's wish for his happiness, and married his low-born mistress.

The jubilant chorus swelled in uplifting harmony as they toasted the happy couple. Then the orchestra finished with a flourish, and silence fell.

Savedra sat ramrod straight. Her hands were clasped tighter than ever in her lap, to keep from reaching out toward Nikos. She could not. She could feel the weight of the entire court's eyes on her, and heard the whispers and murmurs. They were not of approval, this time.

The performance had been exquisite, but Savedra could not acknowledge it now, nor could Nikos. The silence grew, stretching until it seemed to fill the room, taut and dangerous.

Ashlin saved them. With quick-thinking cleverness, she let out a quiet cry that nonetheless carried through the room, and doubled forward with an arm curled over her belly. Nikos immediately moved to support her, asking urgent, hushed questions that made Ashlin shake her head, biting her lip as if in pain. Savedra finally forced her limbs to move, but as she began to lean forward, Ashlin's hand shot out to land on her leg, her short, blunt fingernails digging into Savedra's thigh through the layers of her gown.

She thought she understood then, and let Nikos sweep his wife from the room to rest, while she was left behind under the waiting eyes of the court.

Standing, she shook out the skirt of her gown, and left the room in the opposite direction. She heard the buzz of excited conversation behind her before the doors even fully closed.

Captain Denaris appeared at her side, her expression grim. She must have been there for the performance, Savedra thought, though why she had followed Savedra and not Nikos and Ashlin was a mystery. Whatever the reason, Savedra wasn't going to question it.

"I need my runners," she told the captain. "If you see them, please send them to the Gallery."

Denaris looked as though she would speak, but after a moment of matching Savedra's hurried strides, she nodded and peeled off, going to track down Savedra's spies.

Savedra didn't have her wits about her when she reached the empty, echoing gallery, which was why her mother's appearance took her so off-guard. Savedra raised a hand to her throat, feeling the cold strand of pearls that marked her station above her rabbiting heartbeat, and forced herself to take a breath.

"Archa," she said formally, and Nadesda shook her head slightly. She gestured for Savedra to continue on to her chambers, and Savedra fell silent, sweeping ahead until they were behind closed doors, and as safe as Savedra's position at court could make them.

"Did you know?" Savedra's voice came out breathier than she would have preferred, and her rudeness would have shocked her - would shock her, later - had she not been reeling.

"Not until the end. But I guessed. She was too like you for the composer not to be making a point." The Archa of House Severos sat at an ornate table meant for tea and cards, and Savedra belatedly recalled her manners. She could not ring for a servant without drawing attention to this meeting, but she offered nonetheless.

"Archa. Mother. May I offer you some refreshment?"

"No, thank you. Sit, child; we need to talk."

"I need to stifle any rumors," Savedra said, which was as far as her spinning thoughts had progressed. "Before they leave the court." Her body obeyed her mother's instructions without thought, however, and she folded herself into the chair on the opposite side of the table.

"It's too late for that," Nadesda answered, which Savedra knew was true. "There were too many people at court who saw it, and the players and musicians are no doubt under instructions to spread the word as widely as they may."

"But why?" Savedra burst out, the question finally loosed that she had been keeping behind her teeth. "What can anyone think to gain with such a farce? I will never sit on the throne, and Ashlin is queen."

"You have support in some quarters," Nadesda answered. Her voice was level and matter-of-fact, in contrast to the absurdity of her words. "More than you did this time last year. Nikos is king now; you are no longer a prince's mistress. You have the ear of the monarch, and even with his wife due to bear his heir at any moment, he has refused to set you aside. The romantics see a doomed love held back by a foreign queen, which is no doubt what convinced that fool composer to write his opera."

"But I cannot be queen. I could not before, and I certainly cannot be now."

Once upon a time, not even that long ago, those words would have carried sour bitterness. Now, they were simply fact. Savedra could not bear heirs and continue the Alexios line.

The fact that she could sire them was a point she hoped no one else would consider.

"Think of it from the nobility's perspective. Currently, they have an Alexios on the throne, and an outsider carrying the heir. There is no chance for any other house to advance, not for another generation. And that is only if the queen bears a healthy child, who survives to ascend the throne."

Savedra made a warding gesture, familiar fear gripping her heart, but Nadesda ignored her and went on.

"If the queen should die, in childbirth or before, it is even less likely now that Nikos would set you aside. He might instead choose to marry you. Which would mean," Nadesda continued, over Savedra's half-articulated protest, "that upon Nikos' death, without any heirs, another house would rise to power."

"That's preposterous," Savedra objected, but a little voice in her heart whispered that if Ashlin did pass on, Nikos might turn to her in grief. Might, even, put her ahead of his duty, without his father alive to arrange a diplomatic match. Alternately, he might not make her queen, but simply fail to marry again, making excuses until the time to remarry had passed. She would be his consort then, more than his mistress. And she was one of the Eight. The court might accept her, if Nikos did not make a match with a daughter of another house. And with Ginevra Jsutien dead - Savedra repressed old grief for such a meaningless loss - there were hardly any suitable candidates to be found.

"What happens after isn't what's of most importance," Nadesda continued, implacable. "What matters is that among the Eight, there have never stopped being attempts to remove a Celanoran power from Selafai. You know that better than anyone."

"The assassin last night," Savedra said, numbed. "The one you warned me of."

"Time is running out, if they want to remove the queen before she bears an heir." There was some sympathy in Nadesda's voice, but the words were crisp. Simply stating facts. Savedra's mother had been up to her neck in politics long before Savedra was ever born. "After that, it becomes...more complicated."

Savedra's hands were knotted in her skirt, the knuckles white. She felt strangled by fear at a threat she could not directly confront; not only Ashlin's life, but that of their unborn child. Savedra had put her son or daughter directly in the sights of assassins and power-hungry nobles, where they would remain all their life.

Savedra dipped her head in gratitude. Nadesda reached across the table and gripped one of Savedra's hands, which Savedra had to unclench from her skirt before she could raise it up.

"Savedra." Her mother's words, now, not the Archa's. "I will help you however I can."

  


~

  
_Fifth Terce  
The Hour of Restraint_  


  
Savedra hadn't expected to see Ashlin until the masquerade that evening, but just as Savedra was beginning to direct the styling of her hair and makeup, a servant arrived with a message. The girl got no farther than, "The queen requests..." before Savedra was out of her seat, hastily pinning back the mass of her hair and hurrying down the long corridors to the royal suite.

She was fairly certain that Ashlin's pain after the opera had been an act, diplomatically timed to allow Nikos an exit--but there was always the possibility that it hadn't been. Ashlin had miscarried twice before, and she was so near term now...if it had been labor, Savedra thought she would have heard word that the physician had been called, but she couldn't be certain of anything.

Ashlin was sitting at her dressing table, wearing a comfortable robe. She caught Savedra's eyes in the mirror and set down the letter she'd been reading. "Vedra. Would you style my hair? You always know how to do it right."

Savedra bobbed a courtesy and the other maids withdrew, by now used to these requests. Ashlin was not above feigning moody impatience with her servants in order to steal some time alone with Savedra, for which she was grateful.

"Are you all right?" Savedra couldn't stop herself from seeking reassurance, even with all evidence suggesting she had no cause for worry.

"I'm fine. Tired, is all. I wish we didn't have this ball tonight." Ashlin reached up to touch Savedra's hand, which had settled on Ashlin's shoulder. "You were worried? I thought you might be, that's why I sent for you."

"I still am." The reminder of why left Savedra feeling cold, but Ashlin demanded that Savedra and Nikos alike never try to protect her from unsettling truths. "One of my...sources...thinks there is a plot to remove you, before the heir is born."

Ashlin folded an arm over her stomach in what Savedra guessed was an unconscious gesture of protection. "There are always plots. I'm told that's what being queen in this court is all about."

Savedra smoothed a hand over Ashlin's hair. She'd been growing it out, this past year, though it still only fell just below her shoulders. Savedra guessed that once the baby was born, it would be cut again; the only reason Ashlin didn't mind having it long was because she couldn't do any real swordplay for the time being. After the birth, she'd be working harder than ever to regain her fighting trim.

"I didn't know what the opera would be about." Savedra hadn't planned to say as much, but it welled up in her, and wouldn't be kept back.

In the mirror, Ashlin looked startled. "I know. Vedra, of course I know. Nikos and I both do. He's with his councilors now, getting an earful, I'm sure. I left after the first hour, when none of them had come to a point."

"I've sent runners." It was a kinder word for 'spies', but it had the same meaning. "Hopefully I'll have news by the end of the night."

"I doubt they'll find anything besides that idiot composer. He had to have known his work wouldn't go over well at court."

"He probably did," Savedra replied quietly. "But he may have been paid well, for sabotaging his career for someone else's political gain."

Ashlin snorted. "I'm sure he was. Any idea who?"

Savedra shook her head, but admitted what they both knew already. "One of the Eight. Not Alexios or Severos."

"No." Ashlin lapsed into brooding silence. Savedra picked up the hairbrush from the table and began running it through Ashlin's thin blonde hair. It didn't need much attention, but Savedra liked the feel of it against her fingers, and both of them seemed to find such small intimacies soothing.

Ashlin's skin was much paler than Savedra's own, but Savedra liked the look of her hair in Savedra's hands, light against dark. It was also, as Savedra had noted many times before this, much easier to manage than Savedra's mass of twisting dark curls. Nikos' hair curled as well, but on him, any rebellious strands merely looked charmingly unruly, rather than unkempt.

"It's unfair," Ashlin said at last.

Savedra didn't look up to meet her eyes in the mirror. She had thought the same thing, many times before this. "I know."

"I know you do. It's unfair for you, too. By all rights, you ought to be queen, and I ought to be home, with my own people, not caught in this pit of vipers."

The bitterness in Ashlin's voice took Savedra by surprise; this time she did look up. She hadn't realized, after all this time, how unhappy Ashlin still seemed to be in Erisín.

Ashlin saw her expression and recanted somewhat. "Oh, you know I'm glad to be here with you, and even with Nikos. But they've never accepted me here, truly, and I've never fit in. I don't think the way they do, and I'm not a daughter of one of their precious houses. It's even called the Octagon Court. Eight houses, and Celanor isn't one of them. We might have a marriage alliance, but it's not strong enough to keep the nobles of Selafai from doing away with me if they can."

It was as long a speech as Savedra had ever heard Ashlin make, and she stared in surprise before she found her tongue. "That's not true. They love you. After what happened at the masque..."

"Memories fade," Ashlin interrupted her, gently enough. "Blood doesn't. I'm still an outsider, and a barbarian to boot, and just because they don't say it to my face doesn't mean they're not thinking it."

Savedra gathered Ashlin's hair in her hands, and tried styling it up. It was long enough now to be shaped in more than a bob or a queue.

"Vedra." Ashlin twisted around at her silence, awkward with her bulging belly, and caught Savedra's hands in hers. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to hurt you. I know you love me, and you've always made me feel welcome here. And it's not very fair for me to complain about having something you've always wanted."

"I haven't wanted it," Savedra said automatically, though she squeezed Ashlin's hands in return. "I've always known Nikos and I would never marry, and that I would never be queen." Her desires were more complicated than she made them sound, but that much at least was truth. "I haven't wanted power, or the throne. All I ever wanted was Nikos." She swallowed, and then added, "And now you."

Ashlin's expression looked as complicated as Savedra's felt. "You have power now, though," she pointed out. "Your spies. Everyone knows you have influence at court. People talk to you."

Savedra pulled her hands away, not knowing why that felt so much like a reproach, or an accusation. "I do that for Nikos," she said. "And for you. I want to keep you safe. And I needed..."

She stopped; Ashlin finished for her. "You needed something more to do, and to be, than the king's mistress. I know, Vedra. I just..." Ashlin's gaze was envious; it was something Savedra rarely ever saw from her, and that it was directed at Savedra made it doubly strange. "I see how much more you could have been, if you'd married Nikos. You would have been a good queen."

"You're a good queen," Savedra whispered. Her eyes stung, too dry. She blinked and looked down.

"I would have been happier on horseback commanding troops, and we both know it." Ashlin's voice softened from its matter-of-fact brusqueness. "But I have no regrets."

Savedra nodded, and gathered again the shreds of her poise. "Nor do I."

There were times she felt otherwise - many, many times - but in this moment, she believed it.

Ashlin's eyes widened, and she lunged for Savedra's hand, pressing it against her stomach. "He's kicking," she said, frowning in concentration. "Do you feel it?"

Every time Savedra felt the life inside Ashlin - their child, slowly growing - it seemed like an impossible miracle. The fact that she couldn't experience what Ashlin did weighed on her heart, but Ashlin shared these moments with her so freely, including her in every way that she could, that Savedra couldn't let bitterness overwhelm her joy and awe.

She blinked back the prickling of tears, and answered, "Yes. I do."

  


~

  
_Sixth Terce  
The Hour of Comfort_  


  
When she was younger and first Nikos' mistress, Savedra had loved the palace masquerades. They were a chance, for her, to truly pretend she was someone else for an evening. A costume and mask could disguise even more than a gown and jewels, and Nikos was the royal peacock, who always enjoyed dressing up for a ball. Nikos had made his entrance with his parents, of course, but after that he'd been free to spend the night dancing, and the first dance had always been for her.

Now, and especially after the past year, Savedra could not help but see daggers hidden in every costume, and assassins behind every mask. She knew the players at court better, and idle conversation was harder when you knew who had been plotting against your lover with a smile on their face and a knife concealed behind their back. Savedra was no longer a young girl dazzled by the sparkle of gems and the curl of ribbons--although she still enjoyed them, all the same.

It was different now for more reasons than that. Nikos now entered with his wife on his arm, and the first dance was for her. Much of his time was taken up with diplomacy and politics, even at a ball, and Savedra rarely saw him up close for more than a moment. So much of the joy of a masquerade, for her, had been in sharing her delight with him.

She was dressed simply for the night's fête, in a black velvet gown spangled all over with stars. She had powdered her hair so that it contrasted with her gown and skin, and glided into the ballroom as midnight incarnate. Silver topazes hung at her throat and from her ears, although the only ring she wore was the orange sapphire mage stone that she had been given by her uncle Varis. There was a celestial theme for the evening, which was reflected in the costumes of the nobility, many of whom arrived as the avatars of various heavenly bodies.

Savedra was already in the ballroom when Nikos and Ashlin made their entrance, to be greeted with titters and amused murmurs. Ashlin was in her customary brown, although the sweeping train behind her curved up at the edges to reveal a frothy layer of lace, styled like waves cresting against the hull of a ship.

("If I'm going to be the size of a boat," Ashlin had remarked dourly some months before, when they'd discussed the masque, "I may as well dress as one.")

Ashlin herself was the ship's figurehead, and Nikos, splendid in white and silver, was the lodestar guiding her. He had twinkling stars made of chipped gems on his shoes, and took every opportunity to stand in a way that put them on display. Savedra covered her mouth to hide her smile at his posing, and turned away to seek out refreshment before he could catch her eye.

She could only be so close to him now, in public, especially after the disastrous opera. She and Ashlin had agreed that Savedra should be snubbed at the evening's masque, and while Ashlin had promised to tell Nikos, Savedra knew that he did not always act with the most tact and sense when it came to her. She guessed he would ask her to dance at some point during the night, unless Ashlin managed to keep him by her side.

She was doing well at that so far, Savedra noted, when she returned with a drink of crisp bubbling cider and the taste of berries on her tongue. Nikos was being especially solicitous toward his wife, who was encumbered with his heir, and therefore a stationary target for his fussing with pillows and sweetmeats. Savedra knew it was a display for the court, but she could also tell there was genuine affection in Nikos' actions, and even Ashlin's exasperation lacked any venom.

It was difficult for all of them to avoid jealousy, but somehow love had managed to overcome the worst obstacles so far. They had both had told her, privately, the first time that Ashlin had gone to Nikos' bed for more than a chance at creating an heir. It had been early in Ashlin's pregnancy, and Savedra had not pried beyond that, but she suspected there had been less wine involved than on previous visits. They seemed happy enough now. They seemed, Savedra thought - and not without a pang - as if they had finally fallen in love with one another.

"Pallakis."

The respectful address pulled Savedra's attention from the dais to the uniformed woman standing beside her. "Captain Denaris." Worry tugged at Savedra's heart even before she heard what the captain had to say. "Do you have any news?"

Denaris frowned, but not as if she didn't like to answer the question--more, perhaps, that she was not fond of the answer itself. "Nothing yet since this afternoon. But there is one thing I didn't have time to tell you. It concerns our visitor this morning."

Savedra was briefly confused, until she remembered the assassin. It didn't seem like it had happened only that morning. "I'm sorry," she said, trying to remember the time that had passed since then. "I should have spoken with you."

"You had other things on your mind." Denaris cast a pointed look at the dais, and Savedra had to force her own gaze not to follow. "Our visitor..."

"One moment," Savedra interrupted, apologetic. She knew the captain would speak with discretion, but even so, it was difficult to be circumspect in the middle of a crowd, many of whom were members of the houses Savedra suspected of being behind the plot. "Would you mind if we took some air? It's very warm in here."

Denaris nodded crisply. "I could stand a walk myself," she agreed, and they made their way in silence to a balcony which extended out over the gardens, far enough that anyone lurking behind the glass-pane doors would not be able to hear them.

"Your pardon, captain," Savedra said when they had taken up a position at the railing. "Please continue."

"'He' isn't a he," Denaris said bluntly, and Savedra blinked. She had thought...

But it had been dark, and they hadn't grappled. Nikos might have noticed and not mentioned it, thinking Savedra might have been more upset by nearly killing a woman. He would have been wrong, if that was the case. Savedra was not upset about killing anyone who came to hurt those she loved.

"That metal plate you found under his clothes, it was to shape his body. He's either a woman in disguise, or..." Denaris grimaced, apologetic. "More likely, he's hijra. He hasn't woken up yet; I've set a guard on him with orders to send for me as soon as he comes around."

Savedra's lips parted in surprise. It took her a moment to find her voice. "Does he bear the mark?"

"No, but..." Denaris looked uncomfortable. Savedra guessed, from the older woman's frank manner, that the discomfort was due more to addressing a lady of Savedra's unusual birth on this topic rather than the subject itself. "He had a knot of rolled-up cloth kept under his smallclothes. It might have been part of the disguise, but..." She shrugged again. "Most of us women don't go to those lengths for a disguise in the dark."

Savedra wasn't sure whether to be touched by her inclusion in that 'us women', or annoyed that Denaris had never needed to go to those lengths just to feel comfortable in her own body. She chose to stay puzzled instead. "Why would the hijra send an assassin against the queen? They're mystics, they don't involve themselves in politics."

"Maybe not." Denaris looked somber. "But after that performance today, I think it's safe to say that politics are involving them."

Savedra raised a hand to her eyes. The few hours of sleep she'd stolen that morning had borne her through the day, but now she was beginning to feel the lack of rest. "I'll let you know if I hear anything." Weariness was no excuse for rudeness. Savedra dropped her hand away and managed a wan smile. "Thank you, captain."

Denaris waved away her lapse in manners. "I'll do the same. You think they're related? The assassin and the opera?"

It was clear that Denaris did, and Savedra privately agreed with her. Even so, she didn't want to commit to anything before she'd heard what her spies had to say.

"Possibly." Savedra was silent a moment before admitting, "I think it's likely."

"Damn." Denaris looked back toward the doors into the ballroom. "I should get back in there."

"Of course." Savedra meant to excuse herself, but after a only a moment she felt the words pressing out from behind her teeth. "Captain. I have never encouraged this."

Denaris looked from the doors to Savedra and frowned. "I know. If you had, I'd have removed you from the palace a long time before this."

It was a comfort to have so staunch an ally, but Savedra knew the situation had changed since she and Denaris had first come to trust one another, each of them watching out for Nikos in her own way. "I love the queen," Savedra said. "I would not see her come to harm."

"I know that too." A grin cracked Denaris' weathered face. "I have eyes. Why do you think it's me who shadows you at night when you go on your little excursions? I have my guards wake me instead of following you, in case you end up somewhere other than the gardens or the king's bed."

Savedra's mouth was open in shock, her face hot and mortified. "I..."

"Your secret is safe with me, pallakis." To Savedra's surprise, Denaris touched her hand to the hilt of her sword, as if saluting a fellow soldier. "Her majesty has been a good deal happier this past year, and I believe we owe that to you. And beyond that, it's none of my business why."

It was still treason. Denaris knew it as well as she did, and Savedra's heart pounded hard against her ribcage. "Nikos..."

Denaris chuckled, surprising her yet again. "Oh, I know he knows. He's the worst liar of the three of you. Like I said, I've got eyes. Rest easy, pallakis. Go claim a dance with the king."

Savedra found herself, impossibly, beginning to feel lighter. She hadn't realized how heavy the burden of secrecy was until there was someone else she trusted who could share it.

She had just opened her mouth to reply when a wave of sound came from the ballroom, and she and Denaris turned in the same breath. The noise level had dropped suddenly and then returned in a babble of voices, and Savedra had barely had time to think _the assassins_ before she had lifted her skirts to run inside, Denaris a step ahead of her.

"What is it?" she heard Denaris demand of the nearest guard, while Savedra scanned the royal dais and found Nikos and Ashlin both missing, Ashlin's pillows tumbled from her chair into a heap on the floor.

"It's the queen, captain," answered the guard, and Savedra's stomach swooped in blind panic before she heard him finish, "She's gone into labor."

  


~

  
_Seventh Terce  
The Hour of Regret_  


  
Savedra was rushing down the corridor that led to the royal suite when a masquer stepped out of a doorway just to her left. Her step checked, but she did not stop, her only thought for Ashlin and their child.

"Pallakis." The masquer's voice was not raised, but it carried in the empty hallway. "I would speak with you."

Savedra slowed, but she only bobbed a courtesy before continuing on. "I beg your pardon, I am engaged. If you would leave a message for me, I promise to return it at my earliest convenience."

"Pallakis." The voice was oddly musical, this time more firm in tone. "One of your little birds made me believe you would want to speak with me. It concerns the queen."

Nothing else might have stopped Savedra, save that. She halted abruptly, and turned to face the masquer.

He - she? It was difficult to tell - wore a hooded robe and a simple domino mask. From the pattern of the fabric, Savedra could not guess at the costume, only that it reminded her of a time she would prefer to forget: The incense of the hijras' temples, and the stifling closeness of perfume, the swirl of the cosmos painted on the walls.

Then she saw the mark on the masquer's forehead. Hijra.

"You choose a strange place for a meeting," Savedra said. "And an inconvenient time." She wished she were armed with more than a small dagger tucked beneath her heavy skirts. Captain Denaris had gone to make arrangements for the guard to divide between the ballroom and the royal suite; there was no one else in this corridor now, so far from the festivities.

"My apologies." The melodic lilt to the voice made Savedra guess it was a woman or androgyne who had waylaid her; the slight stain to the lips confirmed it when the masquer came closer. "The subject of my errand is, I fear, urgent enough to warrant the unorthodox invitation."

They were very pretty words, and well-prepared. This was not a chance meeting. The mystery woman might not have planned exactly when and where to meet with her, but she had been awaiting an opportunity.

"There are those, pallakis, who would see you raised from your current station." There was a pause. "You may call me Rose."

The words themselves were innocuous enough, but Savedra had no doubt of what they meant. Nor of the meaning behind the name she had been given--it was as clear a sign as she would be given that this plot was not the work of a few discontented hijras, but of the Rose Council itself.

"I am not one of them," Savedra said clearly. "Do you know who plots against the queen?"

"You are born of Erisín, and the Eight," Rose answered. "Surely you want what is best for your people. And I am here on behalf of those who have Selefai's interests at heart."

"The king is born of the same, and you cannot say he doesn't have Selafai's best interests at heart," Savedra returned sharply. "His queen even now is delivering his heir."

"A half-blood born to a foreigner," Rose said, and Savedra heard some of the passion now under her carefully-prepared words, the rising anger. "Not a true-born heir of Selafai."

The knowledge of Ashlin's child's paternity pressed in on Savedra's chest. She could not keep the old pain from her voice when she asked, "What would you have instead? A woman who cannot bear any heir at all?"

"What we want..." Rose stopped, catching herself in the same heated tone and visibly forcing herself to calm. "What some people want is another heir. What I want, and am here to speak to you about, is a different place in society for those of us who, like you, have not had those same opportunities that are given to others."

In her younger days, Savedra would have thrilled to such talk of revolution and social change. Now, however, she was realistic in looking at the cost.

"Harming the queen will not accomplish that goal," she replied. "It will only lead to more violence, and perhaps greater restriction than you already face." It was hard to set herself apart from the rest of the third sex, but Savedra had already chosen her path; she was not hijra, whatever the accident of her birth.

"I know. That is why I am here to speak to you."

"You are here to convince me to take the place of the queen," Savedra countered. "And I have told you I will not stand by and allow that to happen."

"You would have influence," Rose argued. "You would have more power at court, and your voice would be heard. No one could speak against better opportunities for those of the third sex if you stood at the king's side."

It was an eerie echo of the conversations Savedra had been having all that day, but she was no more tempted by it than she had been earlier, and her answer had not changed. "I will change nothing if you harm the queen," she told Rose. The vehemence in her tone silenced the conversation for a moment, and then Savedra forced herself to take a breath, and say, "However."

That got Rose's attention; they looked at each other for a moment, waiting for Savedra to finish, while she carefully considered her words.

"If you see to it that the queen is in no further danger," Savedra said, "I will support your cause. You know who is behind these plots; you have colluded with them, even if your actions were in pursuit of another goal. You could put these whispers to rest."

It was a delicate line to walk, but if this was the work of the Rose Council, they would know who else had participated in the plot, and they had a greater chance of silencing their conspirators than Savedra did of finding them in order to do the same. And it was a better chance for the hijra than they had without her aid--which she would not give, if it meant Ashlin would come to harm.

"You surprise me, pallakis," Rose said at last. "I did not think you would have such sympathy for a woman who had taken your place."

"My place is where it has always been," Savedra replied. "No one has challenged it. You know I have the ear of the court. Do we have an agreement?"

There was another long silence. Then Rose bowed, low and respectful. "I will consider your proposal, pallakis," she promised. "In the meantime, you have my word that the queen and her child will not come to harm."

Savedra felt the air go out of her in a silent rush, leaving her relieved and dizzy. "Thank you," she said, low and sincere. "I will wait to hear from you."

Rose bowed, and then she was gone down the corridor, leaving Savedra standing alone until she remembered her earlier purpose. She lifted her skirts and turned away, toward the royal suite where her child was being born.

  


~

  
_Eighth Terce  
The Hour of Release_  


  
"Do you think it will be a boy or a girl?"

Savedra looked up blankly at Nikos' question. Ashlin had been in labor for hours now, nearly two terces, which had been stretched longer by Nikos' pacing outside the bedchamber and Ashlin's fierce, pained cries within.

Nikos continued speaking without her answer, seeming to be talking as much to distract himself as for hope of any other response. "Ashlin wants a boy, I know, she insists it will be one, but I think I'd like a girl. I suppose I can't imagine anything else. A girl like both of you."

There was no one else to hear them. The guards were all outside the suite barring the doors, and the doctor and servants were with Ashlin. Savedra might have been permitted entry into the private chamber by right of womanhood, but the physician thought her too much a lady to witness the queen at such an indelicate moment, and had banished her to the antechamber along with Nikos.

Nikos had lit incense in the shrine; the air was thick with the scents of sandalwood and myrrh, and every so often Nikos stopped by the shrine and bowed his head. Savedra had stopped once, too, but she hadn't been able to put her thoughts into words for a prayer.

Nikos was looking at her, and Savedra realized that he was waiting for an answer after all. She cast her thoughts back to what he had said, and found it an easy answer. "I want the inside to match the outside."

Nikos' expression changed, sympathy creasing his brow. "Of course," he murmured. "I'm sorry. I didn't think."

Savedra shook her head, granting forgiveness before Nikos could even ask for it. She turned away, and didn't realize that her eyes were blurred with tears until Nikos turned her gently to face him and tried to wipe them away.

"Vedra," he said gently. "Love. What is it?"

Savedra didn't know how to express what she was feeling--she only knew that she could not do this in front of Ashlin, now or ever. Emotion rose up in her throat, and she finally forced the words out before they could choke her. "I want to be in there."

Nikos took her in his arms, and let her hide her face against his shoulder. "I'll speak with the physician. Of course you should be in there. It's your child."

"No." Savedra shook her head, drawing back but still hiding her face from him, dashing the tears from her eyes with clumsy hands. "I mean I want to be the one having your child. I have always wanted that. I wish it were me, in there, in her place."

Nikos was silent for a moment, and though she knew he still watched her, he didn't reach out for her again. "It's your child, in all but name, you know that."

"I don't want to be a father," Savedra cried, panic raising her voice above what was discreet. Nikos started forward with a hand raised to quiet her, and Savedra bit her lip, covering her own mouth until she trusted herself to speak again. "I want to be a mother. I should be grateful, I feel so guilty, you and Ashlin have made me happier than I've ever imagined, but I can't picture myself with a child. What will I do? Will I teach a child to dress and style their hair, like a mother? Or to ride and to fight, like a father? Will I stand by and watch as a child grows up, while you and Ashlin teach it everything there is to know?"

Now Nikos came to her, and coaxed her gently back into his arms. "First," he murmured into her hair, "I'll be the one teaching fashion, because if you think Ashlin would let me take charge of weapons training, you've never seen her force me to spar with her."

Savedra loosed a muffled sob of laughter into Nikos' jacket. He patted her back.

"And second, you will teach our child to love. Because of the three of us, you are the one who does that best." Nikos tilted Savedra's face up and brushed away her tears again.

She blinked a few times, until he came back into slightly-blurred focus. She remembered confessing her guilt to Ashlin, that the child Savedra had always desired was an obligation to Ashlin, and one that nevertheless made Savedra sick with jealousy. She also remembered Ashlin gripping her hand fiercely when Savedra apologized for getting her with child, swearing she would change nothing.

"Love, how long have you been carrying this?" Nikos asked. He clasped her shoulders, holding her in front of him as if taking her measure. "You could have shared some of the load."

Savedra knew that, in her heart, but in her head it was different. Ashlin had her own fears, about a barbarian interloper's half-blood child being accepted by the Octagon Court, after how hard it had been for Ashlin to find her own place here. And it hadn't seemed right to burden Nikos with her worries, when Savedra had stolen this from him: His queen and his heir, the firstborn child that would never be his.

"This is our child," Nikos whispered, wrapping Savedra in his arms again. "Yours and mine, and Ashlin's. None of us are alone."

She wept then, at last, all of her fears and worries and nightmares, the things she'd kept privately to herself in the dark, and Nikos rocked and soothed her until she'd cried herself out.

"Better?" Nikos handed her his handkerchief, and Savedra blotted her face, embarrassed and a little appalled at how she must look now. Nikos just chuckled, and took the cloth to dab at a smear of eye paint she must have missed. "I'm the one who's meant to be falling apart right now," he remarked. "You've stolen all my chance for theatrics."

Savedra thought she ought to find a mirror, but she felt too wrung-out to care, just yet, about her appearance. "I'm sorry," she answered. "I know, I'm usually the strong one."

"Not that--though that, as well," he answered, settling one arm around her waist. "Because men are the ones who can't handle childbirth. Women understand women's mysteries."

Savedra stared at him, wondering how he thought she had any idea of what Ashlin was going through right now, when Savedra herself never had and never would. Nikos gazed right back at her, and she realized that for all he had seen her naked, and knew her body intimately, Nikos had always seen her for who she was inside. He had never seen Savedra as anything other than a woman. The woman he loved.

"I could comfort you now, if you'd like," she offered, feeling her lips crack into a strange, unexpected smile. "You still have time for theatrics."

"No, they'd all be pale by comparison, now." Nikos drew her into a hug, and Savedra breathed him in, cedar-and-saffron, and felt something in her shift, like an enormous boulder settling at last into place, solid and immovable.

Savedra realized it had gone quiet in the bedroom just before she heard a new sound: The angry, determined wail of a newborn child.

She was thinking of battering the door down by the time the physician opened it, and then she pushed past him at once, with eyes only for Ashlin.

"Yes, get in here," Ashlin ordered, her tone irritable but her expression giving that the lie, a soft smile on her lips. "Both of you. I can't believe I had to do all of this by myself."

Nikos reached the side of the bed while Savedra was still frozen by the door. He reached down as carefully as if the tableau on the bed were made of spun sugar, lifting a corner of the blanket bundled up in Ashlin's arms, and gazing in wonder before bending to kiss first the baby's forehead, then Ashlin's.

Savedra moved forward, feeling as though she were walking in a dream. Ashlin watched her, weary and triumphant; the victor left standing on the battlefield.

Savedra came around the bed to look down at the baby in Ashlin's arms, and felt her heart clench. She had felt this twice before in her life, unexpected and wonderful; she had not thought to find it again, in such a small form. One look at her child - their child - and Savedra was instantly, irretrievably, in love.

The day had started with the shadow of death cast over it. Savedra thought it fitting that it should end here, at the hour of release, with a new life just being born.


End file.
